Tuesday guest post

Today I'm honored to have a contribution from everyone's favorite man-on-the-beat, Officer Cynical!


Today I tried to stop a woman with a revoked license. We went 10 blocks with my lights and siren going, and she acted like I wasn't there.

She finally pulled into her driveway, and rolled down her window. The alcohol fumes rolling out of the passenger compartment were almost visible. She said she'd taken "some pain pills and a few muscle relaxants and maybe some other stuff" on top of it.

I arrested her and headed downtown. On the way to jail, she said she had to go to the hospital because "the left half of my brain is numb." So, to be safe, I took her to ER.

I told the ER doc what she said, and he responded (with a straight face), "Well, that doesn't sound right". He agreed with me that it was more likely the whole brain - not just the left half - that was numb.

He went out to my squad car in the ambulance port and told her, "When whatever you're on clears, if your brain is still numb you can come back." Then he signed off on the jail clearance and we left.

Outstanding.